what you should know about personality development

Many have defined what personality development is all about. Without proper and adequate analytical frameworks and perspectives, and mostly the common grounds of philosophies in life, you may have missed the big picture.

The following is a book discussing and analysing values in life. You may download the book, the Bahasa version, from either one of the following sites:
should you have any comments, queries, questions over issues on personality development issues, you may contact the author in Jakarta through this mobile number +62 851 0518 7118.

Perpustakaan Nasional RI: Data Katalog dalam Terbitan (KDT)
Sando Sasako.
Nilai-nilai dalam kehidupan / Sando Sasako. – Ed. 2. —
Jakarta : CV Serabdi Sakti, 2016.
xi, 167 hlm. ; 21 cm
Bibliografi : hlm. 165.
ISBN 978-602-73508-3-0
1. Psikologi. 2. Kehidupan. I. Judul.


This book originally intends to give a brief description on value analyses over human aspects in life, that is ipoleksosbud-hankamnas. The value in political aspects should be described in relation to the legal and law system, domestically. The value in economical aspects has been described in a book titled by “Corporate Financing: Early Warning System Application on Financial Distress Indicators (Measurements)”. The value in national defense and security aspects should be described in relation to the legal and law system, internationally. This book begins with a question of what makes a value and values matter. The value definition analysis is continued with the discussions over its dimension, system, and on cultural contexts in corporations, psychologically and philosophically. Some values are meant and treated sacred in terms of ideology and religions. As it is, it has been exploited and manipulated as a bond to associate the relationship for millenias. The value concepts are then applied to economic goods, to be created, and built upon. On the other hand, the conflicting values can mean one see it entirely different. One see it as a value creation, while the others see it as a value destruction. Relational transgression is named to be an episode of a cycle in the inter-relationships of one human.

Executive Summary

I don’t know you, anymore. It’s one of many understatements of someone to other someone. The transcendental expression reveals everything. It can derive from the five senses (sensed feelings and emotions), perceptions, preferences, tendencies, and so on, just to name a few. There are also other words spoken, language used, gesture, body language, defensive or offensive.
Such annihilation makes the (developing) persons (kids) can loose their in-search-of identity. Some outgoing personalities (ADHD, ADD, or the likes) may still be able to choose between gadgets, television, games, just to compensate, or escape from the ‘pushed’ reality. The opposite is an introvert that dynamic in nature and along a continuum.
Based on a kid’s (user’s) experiences, that one shall assume an identity of one imaginary figure or two. It can be an action figure, Snow White princess, Disney’s cartoon figure, or else (http://bit.ly/1nWrSFq). Some will keep it to himself. While some others are pushing the ilusion to life. Those values are the filtering agents for some to relate and connect with others. It can be the imaginary boss, suborbinates, spouse, buddies, or other LARPing figures.
As people get connected, they get to interdependent one another, directly or not. Some exchanges occur, socially. They comply with each others’ terms of engagements. Some will say it as a cost and benefit. While others, such as Harold Kelley and John Thibaut, will say it as reward and cost, maximise the rewards while minimising the costs in maintaining any relationship.
Some feeds and consumes, while some others produce, vice versa. The products to be consumed in any social exhange or relationships are emotional, social (identity), instrumental, opportunity. The imbalances, I don’t get what I want, I am not well-compensated, will create some degree of dissatisfaction, that leads to mounting complaints and may aggravate and severe the relationships.
Values in Life is what the book about. The discussions and analyses.

Psychology, International Relations, Humanities, Peace and Conflict Studies, Mergers & Acquisitions, Human Rights, Higher Education, Human Resources Management, Strategic Management

strategic management, mergers & acquisitions, human relations, human bonding, value exploitation, value manipulation, conflicting values, violence, terrorism, game theory


Top 12 Most Important Personality Development Tips

Top 12 Most Important Personality Development Tips
Aashima Singh, 2 years ago

“Personality Development”. How often do we hear this term, from our mentors, our teachers, on the covers of self-help books or on the banners of institutes and learning centres? The abundance of the usage of this term signals towards its importance in today’s life. So what do you mean by personality development? Is it something about how you look, or how you speak? Or is it how easily you can connect with people? Personality development is none of these. Or somewhere it is all of it. In order to survive in today’s world one needs to be smart and quick-witted all the time. It’s no longer just about how much effort you put into your work but one’s personality also has a lot to do with what one achieves. Here I have got 12 simple yet crucial tips over how you can acquire a well-meaning personality.

12. Know yourself

Obviously before you get on developing something you need to know all about it first. The same goes with your personality. One needs to start with taking a good look at themselves, analyzing their traits, the strengths and weaknesses and everything that needs to be worked upon. Don’t shy away from accepting your flaws and learn about yourself as much as you can.

11. Bring positivity in your outlook

Your thoughts and your actions both need to be positive in order to have an attractive personality. The way we think has a lot of effect on the way how we act. And if one prospers positive thoughts inside his mind then that also gives him a confidence boost and enhances their personality. Situations and circumstances in life can always be full highs and lows. But in order to adopt a positive outlook towards life, you need to find the brighter side of the things and focus on the good parts.

10. Have an opinion

Having an opinion and being able to confidently put it forward doesn’t just help making your conversations interesting but it also makes you look more influential and well informed around other people. Never shy away from projecting your opinions even if they happen to conflict with those of other people. Be well informed about all the relevant stuff in your surrounding and fell free to have opinions. It will make yourself feel important too

9. Meet new people

Meeting new and different kinds of people is a healthy step towards expanding your horizons and exposing yourself to a larger number of things. You get an opportunity to know more about other cultures and lifestyles and it significantly has a positive effect on your own personality.

8. Read more often and develop new interests

A man of very few interests has very little to talk about. But if you are well informed about things and cultivate a number of interests, more people tend to like you. You can strike up interesting conversations instead of appearing to be dull and monotonous. When you meet new people you do not have to think about what to say as you can share your knowledge or your interests and get them indulged in conversation.

7. Be a good listener

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” True it is. Being a good listener may not seem like but it is an important step towards achieving a more likable personality. When somebody talks to you, listen with interest and give them all the attention and importance. Maintain a direct eye contact and do not get distracted by the surroundings. It will help you in knowing a better deal about people and attending them in a better way.

6. Be a little fun

Oh yes, this is necessary! Being able to find a humorous side in otherwise terrible situations and bringing a little quirkiness of your own is appreciated by one and all. Everybody loves a person who can make them laugh and bring a funny perspective to the regular things of life. One does not need to be all serious and sober all the time but adorning your funny hat (not literally) every once in a while will turn you in to a more charming personality.

5. Be courteous

Being courteous is never out of fashion and is well appreciated and respected by everyone. Be humble and greet everyone with a smile. Never shy away from helping or supporting your peers and being available to them whenever they need you. Doing random acts of kindness will not just make somebody else’s day but it will also make you come along as a pleasing person. Also it will give your personality a confidence boost. Be humble and down to earth to your juniors and seniors alike.

4. Work on your Body Language

Body language is just as important for your personality as your verbal communication skills. It tells a lot about yourself and helps people in making accurate conjectures about you. Everything including the way you walk, sit, talk or eat leaves an impact over the people around you and having a correct body language can do wonders for your personality. Walk in an upright position with shoulders straight. Do not droop. Sit in a relaxed posture and make always eye contact while speaking.

3. Check your attire

I am not abruptly beginning to emphasize about your exterior self instead of your skills and abilities but one’s attire has an important role to play while making a desirable impression. And not just that, but it also gives yourself a confidence boost knowing that you look good and are dressed appropriately. Dress up in a decent manner and keeping your surroundings in mind. While flashy colors and too much body tattoos or piercings convey an unprofessional attitude, neatly ironed clothes make you look presentable.

2. Be yourself

Though one can always look up to other people to take an inspiration from, but you should still remain your own unique self. Each one of us is different, we have our own sets of skills and flaws and trying to be somebody else gets you nowhere and just simply backfires. Trying too hard to fit in a new group or wanting to belong should never take your authenticity and singularity away. Never try moulding into another person but instead work on being the best version of yourself.

1. Be confident

Yes, that’s the key. Being confident about who you are and what you are doing is the most important tip for personality development. Never doubt your capabilities and if there is something you need to work upon then put in all the effort so you can come over your fears and gain confidence. Read success stories or surround yourself with motivational thoughts or “encouragements” which can boost up your self esteem and help you in attaining a charming personality. Just everything you do, have faith in yourself and put in your hard work. There can be nothing more appealing in your personality than an incredible confidence.

Personality development

Personality development is the relatively enduring pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that distinguish individuals from one another. The dominant view in the field of personality psychology today holds that personality emerges early and continues to change in meaningful ways throughout the lifespan. Evidence from large-scale, long-term studies has supported this perspective.

Adult personality traits are believed to have a basis in infant temperament, meaning that individual differences in disposition and behavior appear early in life, possibly even before language or conscious self-representation develop. The Five Factor Model of personality has been found to map onto dimensions of childhood temperament, suggesting that individual differences in levels of the “big five” personality traits (neurotic-ism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness) are present from young ages.

Evolutionary perspective

An evolutionary perspective has been proposed to explain why humans have personality and individuality. This perspective traces personality and individuality back to when the early humans were learning how to function in complex social groups. Many specialists from different fields have a general agreement that early humans saw themselves as a part of the group to which they belonged, rather than seeing themselves as individuals with independent personalities. In terms of personality at this time, the whole group was identical.

A member of the group associated themselves as one with the tribe and therefore the responsibility rested in the group and not the individual. Kropotkin explained the importance of this by stating that because the primitive man identified his existence with the existence of his tribe it has allowed for mankind to reach the remarkable level present today.
A small step of differentiation that later led to personality and individuality was the division of labor. This differentiation was necessary in order for the group to function in a much more efficient way. This differentiation became adaptive since it increased the groups functionality. These early humans then continued to develop personality and individuality, which stemmed from their group and the social interactions they encountered. Individual life, and thus individuality and personality essentially arose from collective life.

In order to explain some of the variations in human personality and individuality it’s possible to look at the evolutionary process of natural selection. Evolution introduced variations of the human mind, natural selection acted on these by choosing which were the most beneficial and which led to a greater fitness. Since humans are so complex, many opposing personality traits proved to be beneficial in different ways.
An example of this is that in some situations a more aggressive personality could be beneficial, yet a more submissive personality could be beneficial in another situation. Another type of selection helps to take on the evolutionary aspect of human personality and individuality. This type of selection is referred to as emotional selection. It considers emotions as the core emergence of humans in the world. The emotions of humans are what have led to the evolution of human personality and individuality.
“The ability to adapt to all conditions of life is usually called, ‘intelligence,’ but is founded in the complexity and flexibility of the emotional system. The concept of emotional representation as a way of selectively modeling the environment is the key idea underlying our understanding of human individuality.”

Lifespan perspectives

Classic theories of personality, such as Freud’s tripartite theory, and post-Freudian theory, including developmental stage theories and type theories, have often held the perspective that most personality development occurs in childhood, and that personality is stable by the end of adolescence. As recently as the 1990s, modern personality theorists concurred with William James’ 1890 assertion that, by age 30, personality is “set like plaster”.
Currently, lifespan perspectives that integrate theory and empirical findings dominate the research literature. The lifespan perspective of personality is based on the plasticity principle, that personality traits are open systems that can be influenced by the environment at any age. This interactional model of development emphasizes the relationships between an individual and her environment, and suggests that there is a dialectic between continuity and change throughout the lifespan.
Large-scale longitudinal studies have demonstrated that the most active period of personality development appears to be between the ages of 20-40. Personality grows increasingly consistent with age and plateaus sometime around age 50, but never reaches a period of total stability. Although change is less likely later in life, individuals retain the potential for change from infancy to old age.

Influencing factors

Personality traits demonstrate moderate levels of continuity, smaller but still significant normative or mean-level changes, and individual differences in change, often late into the life course. This pattern is influenced by genetic, environmental, transactional, and stochastic factors.


Twin and adoption studies have demonstrated that the heritability of personality traits ranges from .3-.6, with a mean of .5. Heritability of .5 means that 50% of variation in observable personality traits is attributable to genetic influences. But a given genotype will lead to a certain phenotype only under the right environmental circumstances. In other words, the heritability of a trait may change depending on an individual’s environment and/or life events.
An example of the way environment can moderate the expression of a gene is the finding by Heath, Eaves, and Martin (1998) that marriage was a protective factor against depression in genetically identical twins, such that the heritability of depression was as low as 29% in a married twin and as high as 51% in an unmarried twin. Ultimately, emerging evidence suggests that genetic and environmental influences on personality differ depending on other circumstances in a person’s life.


With the effects of genetic similarity removed, children from the same family often appear no more alike than randomly selected strangers; yet identical twins raised apart are nearly as similar in personality as identical twins raised together. What these findings suggest is that shared family environment has virtually no effect on personality development, and that similarity between relatives is almost entirely due to shared genetics.
Although the shared environment (including features like the personality, parenting styles, and beliefs of parents; socioeconomic status; neighborhood; nutrition; schools attended; number of books in the home; etc.) may have a lasting impact at the extremes of parenting practice, such as outright abuse, most personality researchers have concluded that the majority of “average expectable environments” do not have an effect on personality development.

The weakness of shared environmental effects in shaping personality came as a surprise to many psychologists, and spurred research into nonshared environment, or the environmental influences that make siblings different from one another instead of similar. Non shared environmental effects encompass the variability in behavioral outcomes that is not explained by genetic and family environmental influences.
The non shared environment may include differential treatment by parents, individually distinct reactions to the shared family environment, peer influences, and experiences that occur outside the family, as well as test error in measurement. In adults, nonshared environment also encompasses the unique roles and environments experienced after leaving the family of origin. Further effects of environment in adulthood are demonstrated by findings that different work, marital, and family experiences are associated with personality change, and by the impact of major positive and negative life events on personality.

Gene-environment interactions

Van Gestel and Van Broeckhoven (2003) write, “Almost by definition, complex traits originate from interplay between (multiple) genetic factors and environment.” Interactions between genetic predisposition and the environment are a major factor in personality development. The corresponsive principle of personality development states that “life experiences may accentuate and reinforce the personality characteristics that were partially responsible for the particular environmental elicitations in the first place”.
This principle is summarizes how gene-environment interactions (also called person-situation transactions) maintain and reinforce the continuity of personality throughout the lifespan. Three main types of gene-environment interactions are active (the process by which individuals with certain genotypes select and create environments that facilitate the expression of those genotypes), passive (the process by which genetic parents provide both the genes and the early environmental influences that contribute to the development of a characteristic in their children), and reactive (the process by which non-family individuals respond to the behavior produced by a genotype in characteristic ways).

Personality Development


Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or Personality is generally defined as the deeply ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one refers to personality, it generally implies to all what is unique about an individual, the characteristics that makes one stand out in a crowd.

Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.

Personality determinants :

Heredity : Heredity refers to those factors that were determined at conception. Physical structure, facial attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological rhythms are characteristics that are generally considered to be either completely or substantially influenced by who your parents were, that is by their biological, physiological and inherent psychological make up.

Environment : The environmental factors that exert pressures on our personality formation are the culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, the norms among our family, friends and social groups, and other influences that we experience. The environment to which we are exposed plays a substantial role in shaping our personalities.

Situation : A third factor, the situation, influences the effects of heredity and environment on personality. An individual’s personality although generally stable and consistent, does change in different situations. The varying demand of different situation calls forth different aspects of one’s personality. We should not therefore look upon personality patterns in isolation.


1. Subconscious Programming :

Most of us sometimes get programmed / conditioned by a wrong messages that ” donot do that”, “don’t take the risk”, “you can not do that” you are not good in …and so on…..
You can imagine the bad effect such message can have on any person.

Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Programming

Our Conscious Mind is like a watch man. And the Subconscious Mind is a store of all the previously programmed or conditioned information / knowledge/ believes. Now programming personality means putting positive believes/ information into the store with out the knowledge of the watchman (conscious mind).

Suppose you tell yourself that “you are good at Public Speaking”. And the store has stored based on peoples comments and experience that “you are poor in communication” “you can not speak well in public”, “you don’t have an impressive body language” …..
The watch man sees your sentence and compares it with the knowledge in its store and says “this information is wrong”. The watchman throws the new information away. He does not allow the new positive information into the store. This is the fundamental difficulty in changing personality & behavior of a person.


Personality Development
By : Abhishek Kumar Sadhu


Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or Personality is generally defined as the deeply ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one refers to personality, it generally implies to all what is unique about an individual, the characteristics that makes one stand out in a crowd.

Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.

Personality determinants :

Heredity : Heredity refers to those factors that were determined at conception. Physical structure, facial attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological rhythms are characteristics that are generally considered to be either completely or substantially influenced by who your parents were, that is by their biological, physiological and inherent psychological make up.

Environment : The environmental factors that exert pressures on our personality formation are the culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, the norms among our family, friends and social groups, and other influences that we experience. The environment to which we are exposed plays a substantial role in shaping our personalities.

Situation : A third factor, the situation, influences the effects of heredity and environment on personality. An individual’s personality although generally stable and consistent, does change in different situations. The varying demand of different situation calls forth different aspects of one’s personality. We should not therefore look upon personality patterns in isolation.


1. Subconscious Programming :

Most of us sometimes get programmed / conditioned by a wrong messages that ” donot do that”, “don’t take the risk”, “you can not do that” you are not good in …and so on…..
You can imagine the bad effect such message can have on any person.

Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Programming

Our Conscious Mind is like a watch man. And the Subconscious Mind is a store of all the previously programmed or conditioned information / knowledge/ believes. Now programming personality means putting positive believes/ information into the store with out the knowledge of the watchman (conscious mind).

Suppose you tell yourself that “you are good at Public Speaking”. And the store has stored based on peoples comments and experience that “you are poor in communication” “you can not speak well in public”, “you don’t have an impressive body language” …..
The watch man sees your sentence and compares it with the knowledge in its store and says “this information is wrong”. The watchman throws the new information away. He does not allow the new positive information into the store. This is the fundamental difficulty in changing personality & behavior of a person.
Now the question is how and when we could programme our mind for positive personality trait with out the obstruction of watchman…

The answer is we can programme our mind for positive personality traits during the Twilight period just before sleeping and just before waking up. This is the time when the conscious mind is active enough to generate the positive traits for entering into store but inactive to judge/compare and will not obstruct to the positive traits to enter into the subconscious store house.

2. Reinforced Programming / Conscious Programming :

Autosuggestion and Repetition of the positive traits despite negative response from comparison with the store house also gives success in programming for personality traits.

Auto-suggestion is a statement made in the present tense, of the kind of person you want to be. Auto-suggestion are like a commercial about “Super You”, or “Future Super You” for yourself what you want to be or achieve. They influence both your conscious and subconscious mind in the long run shaping your personality and attitude.

Auto-suggestions are the conscious way to programme the subconscious mind for positive traits. It is the effective method of voluntary development of positive traits and attitudes.

Auto-suggestion should be mixed with emotions. All such reinforced / conscious programming which have been emotionalized (giving feeling) and mixed with applied faith, begin immediately to translate themselves into physical or real equivalent.

Auto-suggestive thoughts which are mixed with any of the feeling of emotions constitute a “psycho-magnetic” force which attracts other similar or related thoughts.

Our subconscious mind resembling a fertile garden spot, in which weeds will grow in abundance if you the seeds of more desirable crops are not sown therein. Auto-suggestion is the agency of control through which an individual can voluntarily feed his subconscious mind on thoughts of creative/ positive nature or by neglect permit thoughts of a destructive nature to find their way into the rich garden of mind. So Caution should be taken while programming your mind for positive traits only.

3. Defensive Approach :

One of this type of approach is protest or deny the negative traits at it’s very beginning of the entering in the subconscious store. And the second is to consciously avoid this type of environment or situation. In real life situation it is very difficult because it may lead to confrontation and argument or Inaction.

Another problem in this is that most of us have some negative traits previously in our store house due to our past experience and conditioning.

4. Imaginary Anchoring or Invisible Counseling Committee :

While watching a picture we anchor the Hero, placing ourselves in place of hero. Similarly we can anchor Great men in imagination and let them shape our personality.

Another is the Invisible Counseling Committee comprising of great personalities of your choice. We can counsel from these great minds at times or situation. What decision or action he would have been taken in my situation..

Winston Churchill the war time British Prime Minister was following this principle. He had his Imaginary Counseling Committee by the side of his Chamber. Many great decisions he used to take by following these principles.

I follow the habit of reshaping my Character by trying to imitate some great personalities whose lives and life works have been most impressive to me. These personalities are Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon Bonaparte, Albert Einstein, Shiva Khera, Napoleon Hills & Bill Gates. I held an imaginary council meeting with this group whom I called my “Invisible Counselor”. In these imaginary council meeting I called on my cabinet members for the knowledge I wished each to contribute addressing myself to each members in audible words as follows :

Mahatma Gandhi, I desire to acquire from you the ideology of truth and Non-violence and devotion towards practicing these in every odd hours and to acquire the magnet leadership to attract millions to join in the peaceful struggle for freedom and Humanity.

Mother Teresa, I desire to acquire from you the ability to provide relentless humanitarian services to the most unprivileged, poor diseased and intense spirit to serve the mankind despite all odds.

Mr. Abraham Lincoln, I desire to build into my own character the keen sense of justice, the untiring spirit of patience, the sense of humor, the human understanding, and the tolerance which were your distinguishing characteristics.

Napoleon Bonaparte, I desire to acquire from you, by emulation, the marvelous ability you possessed to inspire men and arouse them to greater and more determined spirit of action. Also to acquire the spirit of enduring faith, which enabled you to turn defeat into victory, and to surmount staggering obstacles.

Albert Einstein, I wish to acquire from you the Scientific Bent, ever inquisitive mind, the spirit to innovate and contribute to Humanity.

Napoleon Hills, I want to acquire from you the ability to nurture the human resources and to Give the society the magic formulae of success of wealth and fortune and helping people realize their true potential.

Mr. Shiva Khera, I want to acquire from you the skill and understanding to motivate the people towards positive ends and to offer the world the blue print for positive and successful life.

Bill Gates, I wish to acquire from you the Brilliant Intelligence, Innovation, Intense drive to succeed, persistence, personal intensity and conscientiousness dimensions

5. Physical Action / Body Language Approach :

In general it is the positive practice or experiencing desired traits whether the desired perfection achieved or not.

It is generally said that our personality traits control our body language. But it is a fact that the reverse is also true. This means we can change our negative traits towards positive traits by consciously practicing the body language for positive traits.

6. Domino-effect. Direct exposure to good personalities or environment :

Here the direct environment is the driving force in shaping the personalities. When one constantly remains in direct contact with great personalities will enriches his own to be the one. Similarly the organization culture and structure also many times influences ones personality. Sometimes it is the guiding principle for job satisfaction / recruitment.

Caution should be taken while programming your mind for positive traits only. Because these processes give results for negative traits also. Mahatma Gandhi and Adolf Hitler both successfully applied these principles but one positively and other negatively.

Reserved vs Outgoing
Less intelligent vs More intelligent
Affected by feeling vs Emotionally stable
Submissive vs Dominant
Serious vs Happy to Lucky
Expedient vs Conscientious
Timid vs Venturesome
Tough-minded vs Sensitive
Trusting vs Suspicious
Practical vs Imaginative
Forthright vs Shrewd
Self-assured vs Apprehansive
Conservative vs Experimenting
Group dependant vs Self-sufficient
Uncontrolled vs Controlled
Relaxed vs Tense

Some of the behavioral and attitude traits as identified by Shiv Khera for positive personality building……


1. Accept Responsibility :

The price of grateness is the responsibility – Winston Churchill
“Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.”
— Elbert Hubbard

Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by the inactivity of good people.

2. Show consideration :

Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.

3. Think Win-Win : Win-Win philosophy is the ultimate way to success in the collaborative and networked world. One who master that art can achieve greatly.

4. Choose your words carefully:

The principle is your speaking must be better than silent, rather be silent.
Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny.

5. Never Criticize, Complain and Condemn:

Constructive criticism is a terminology used to conceal one’s own cynicism. Afterall the limit of constructiveness of constructive criticism vary from person to person. we sometime misjudge this limit and many times cross the limit which is detrimental.

6. Smile and Be Kind :

Smile is the shortest distance between two people.

7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behavior:

We see the world not as it is, but as we are.

So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or amend this.

8. Be a Good Listener :

Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% communication is done.

9. Be Enthusiastic :

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm
— Ralph Waldo Emersion

10. Give honest and Sincere Appreciation :

The desire to feel important is one of the gratest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the receipient.

11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make it easy to amend:

Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it immediately and make change or amend easy.

12. Discuss but don’t argue:

Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.
An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.

13. Don’t Gossip:

Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.

14. Turn your promises into commitment:

Commitment leads to enduring relationship through thick and thin. It shows in a person’s personality and relationship.

15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:

16. Be dependable and practice loyalty:

An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness. Ability without dependability is of no worth.

17. Avoid bearing grudges:

Life is too small to bear grudges. John Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.” Means “if one cheated me once it is his fault, but if cheats me twice then it is my fault.”

18. Practice honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:

Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance. Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.

19. Practice Humility:

Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive. Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.

20. Be understanding and Caring :

The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.

21. Practice courtesy on daily basis :

22. Develop a sense of humor:

Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person likeable and attractive. Some people are humor-impaired.

23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down :

24. To have a friend be a Friend :

Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stones of all friendship.

25. Show Empathy :

Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “how would I feel if someone treated me that way?” If you like my blog then please give a comment, subscribe this via RSS or E-mail. Also Become a Parallel Thinker Following this blog as blogger or Google reader..

Personality development


Personality development is the development of the organized pattern of behaviors and attitudes that makes a person distinctive. Personality development occurs by the ongoing interaction of temperament , character, and environment.


Personality is what makes a person a unique person, and it is recognizable soon after birth. A child’s personality has several components: temperament, environment, and character. Temperament is the set of genetically determined traits that determine the child’s approach to the world and how the child learns about the world. There are no genes that specify personality traits, but some genes do control the development of the nervous system, which in turn controls behavior.

A second component of personality comes from adaptive patterns related to a child’s specific environment. Most psychologists agree that these two factors-temperament and environment-influence the development of a person’s personality the most. Temperament, with its dependence on genetic factors, is sometimes referred to as “nature,” while the environmental factors are called “nurture.”

While there is still controversy as to which factor ranks higher in affecting personality development, all experts agree that high-quality parenting plays a critical role in the development of a child’s personality. When parents understand how their child responds to certain situations, they can anticipate issues that might be problematic for their child. They can prepare the child for the situation or in some cases they may avoid a potentially difficult situation altogether. Parents who know how to adapt their parenting approach to the particular temperament of their child can best provide guidance and ensure the successful development of their child’s personality.

Finally, the third component of personality is character-the set of emotional, cognitive, and behavioral patterns learned from experience that determines how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. A person’s character continues to evolve throughout life, although much depends on inborn traits and early experiences. Character is also dependent on a person’s moral development .

In 1956, psychiatrist Erik Erikson provided an insightful description as to how personality develops based on his extensive experience in psychotherapy with children and adolescents from low, upper, and middle-class backgrounds. According to Erikson, the socialization process of an individual consists of eight phases, each one accompanied by a “psychosocial crisis” that must be solved if the person is to manage the next and subsequent phases satisfactorily. The stages significantly influence personality development, with five of them occurring during infancy, childhood, and adolescence .


During the first two years of life, an infant goes through the first stage: Learning Basic Trust or Mistrust (Hope) . Well-nurtured and loved, the infant develops trust and security and a basic optimism. Badly handled, the infant becomes insecure and learns “basic mistrust.”


The second stage occurs during early childhood, between about 18 months to two years and three to four years of age. It deals with Learning Autonomy or Shame (Will) . Well-parented, the child emerges from this stage with self-confidence, elated with his or her newly found control. The early part of this stage can also include stormy tantrums , stubbornness, and negativism, depending on the child’s temperament.


The third stage occurs during the “play age,” or the later preschool years from about three to entry into formal school. The developing child goes through Learning Initiative or Guilt (Purpose) . The child learns to use imagination; to broaden skills through active play and fantasy; to cooperate with others; and to lead as well as to follow. If unsuccessful, the child becomes fearful, is unable to join groups, and harbors guilty feelings. The child depends excessively on adults and is restricted both in the development of play skills and in imagination.

School age

The fourth stage, Learning Industry or Inferiority (Competence) , occurs during school age, up to and possibly including junior high school. The child learns to master more formal skills:
relating with peers according to rules
progressing from free play to play that is structured by rules and requires teamwork (team sports)
learning basic intellectual skills (reading, arithmetic)

At this stage, the need for self-discipline increases every year. The child who, because of his or her successful passage through earlier stages, is trusting, autonomous, and full of initiative, will quickly learn to be industrious. However, the mistrusting child will doubt the future and will feel inferior.


The fifth stage, Learning Identity or Identity Diffusion (Fidelity) , occurs during adolescence from age 13 or 14. Maturity starts developing during this time; the young person acquires self-certainty as opposed to self-doubt and experiments with different constructive roles rather than adopting a negative identity, such as delinquency. The well-adjusted adolescent actually looks forward to achievement, and, in later adolescence, clear sexual identity is established. The adolescent seeks leadership (someone to inspire him or her), and gradually develops a set of ideals to live by.

The Child Development Institute (CDI) rightfully points out that very little knowledge is available on the type of specific environment that will result, for example, in traits of trust being more developed in a person’s personality. Helping the child through the various stages of emotional and personality development is a complex and difficult task. Searching for the best ways of accomplishing this task accounts for most of the research carried out in the field of child development today.

Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized how childhood experiences affect personality development. Many psychologists believe that there are certain critical periods in personality development-periods when the child will be more sensitive to certain environmental factors. Most experts believe that a child’s experiences in the family are important for his or her personality development, although not exactly as described by Erikson’s stages, but in good agreement with the importance of how a child’s needs should to be met in the family environment.
For example, children who are toilet trained too early or have their toilet training carried out too strictly may become rebellious. Another example is shown by children who learn appropriate behavior to their sex lives when there is a good relationship with their same-sex parent.

Another environmental factor of importance is culture. Researchers comparing cultural groups for specific personality types have found some important differences. For example, Northern European countries and the United States have individualistic cultures that put more emphasis on individual needs and accomplishments. In contrast, Asian, African, Central American, and South American countries are characterized more by community-centered cultures that focus on belonging to a larger group, such as a family, or nation. In these cultures, cooperation is considered a more important value than competitiveness, which will necessarily affect personality development.

Common problems

Infants who are just a few weeks old display differences between each other in how active they are, how responsive they are to change, and how irritable they are. Some infants cry constantly while others seem happy and stay fairly quiet. Child development research conducted by the CDI has identified nine temperamental traits that may contribute to a child’s personality development being challenging or difficult:
activity level (how active the child is generally)
distractibility (degree of concentration and paying attention when the child is not particularly interested)
intensity (how loud the child is)
regularity (the predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep)
sensory threshold (how sensitive the child is to physical stimuli: touch, taste, smell, sound, light)
approach/withdrawal (characteristic responses of a child to a new situation or to strangers)
adaptability (how easily the child adapts to transitions and changes such as switching to a new activity)
persistence (stubbornness, inability to give up)
mood (tendency to react to the world primarily in a positive or negative way)

Temperamental traits are enduring personality characteristics that are neither “good” nor “bad.” Early on, parents can work with the child’s temperamental traits rather than oppose them. Later, as the child grows up, parents can help the child to adapt to his or her own world in spite of inborn temperament.

Parental concerns

Most children experience healthy personality development. However, some parents worry as to whether their infant, child, or teenager has a personality disorder. Parents are usually the first to recognize that their child has a problem with emotions or behaviors that may point to a personality disorder.

Children with personality disorders have great difficulty dealing with other people. They tend to be inflexible, rigid, and unable to respond to the changes and normal stresses of life and find it very difficult to participate in social activities. When these characteristics are present in a child to an extreme, when they are persistent and when they interfere with healthy development, a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or mental health professional is recommended.

When to call the doctor

Parents who suspect that their child has a personality disorder should seek professional help. It is a very important first step in knowing for sure whether there is a disorder, and if so, what treatment can best help the child. Child and adolescent psychiatrists are trained to help parents sort out whether their child’s personality development is normal.


Behavior -A stereotyped motor response to an internal or external stimulus.
Character -An individual’s set of emotional, cognitive, and behavioral patterns learned and accumulated over time.
Cognition -The act or process of knowing or perceiving.
Cognitive -The ability (or lack of) to think, learn, and memorize.
Gene -A building block of inheritance, which contains the instructions for the production of a particular protein, and is made up of a molecular sequence found on a section of DNA. Each gene is found on a precise location on a chromosome.
Identity -The condition of being the same with, or possessing, a character that is well described, asserted, or defined.
Maturity -A state of full development or completed growth.
Personality -The organized pattern of behaviors and attitudes that makes a human being distinctive. Personality is formed by the ongoing interaction of temperament, character, and environment.
Socialization -The process by which new members of a social group are integrated in the group.
Temperament -A person’s natural disposition or inborn combination of mental and emotional traits.
See also Bonding ; Cognitive development ; Temperament .


AACAP and David Pruitt. Your Child: Emotional, Behavioral, and Cognitive Development from Infancy through Pre-Adolescence. New York: Harper Collins, 1998.
AACAP and David Pruitt. Your Adolescent: Emotional, Behavioral, and Cognitive Development from Early Adolescence through the Teen Years. New York: Harper Collins, 1999.
Allen, Bem P. Personality Theories: Development, Growth, and Diversity. Harlow, UK: Allyn & Bacon, 2002.
Berger, Elizabeth. Raising Children With Character: Parents, Trust, and the Development of Personal Integrity. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 1999.
Erikson, Erik. Childhood and Society. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1993.
Erikson, Erik. The Erik Erikson Reader. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2000.
Goleman, Daniel. Working With Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam, 1998.
Rogers, Carl. On Becoming a Person. Boston: Mariner Books, 1995.
Shaffer, David R. Social and Personality Development. Independence, KT: Wadsworth Publishing, 1999.
“Social, Emotional, and Personality Development.” Handbook of Child Psychology , edited by William Damon and Nancy Eisenberg. 5th ed. New York: Wiley, 2000.

Biesanz, J. C. et al. “Personality over time: Methodological approaches to the study of short-term and long-term development and change.” Journal of Personality. 71, no. 6 (December, 2003): 905-41.
Hart, D. et al. “Personality and development in childhood: a person-centered approach.” Monographs in Social Research on Child Development. 68, no. 1 (2003): 1-119.
Jensen-Campbell, L. A. et al. “Interpersonal conflict, agreeableness, and personality development.” Journal of Personality. 71, no. 6 (December, 2003): 1059-85.
Roberts, B. W. and R. W. Robins. “Person-Environment Fit and its implications for personality development: a longitudinal study.” Journal of Personality. 72, no. 1 (February, 2004): 89-110.
Roberts, B. W. et al. “The kids are alright: growth and stability in personality development from adolescence to adulthood.” Journal of Personality & Social Psychology. 81, no. 4 (October, 2001): 670-83.
Shiner, R, and A. Caspi. “Personality differences in childhood and adolescence: measurement, development, and consequences.” Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry. 44, no. 1 (January, 2003): 2-32.

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP). 3615 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., Washington, DC. 20016-3007. (202) 966-7300. Web site: http://www.aacap.org.
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). 141 Northwest Point Boulevard, Elk Grove Village, IL 60007-1098. (847) 434-4000. Web site: http://www.aap.org.
American Psychological Association (APA). 750 First Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002-4242. (800) 374-2721. Web site: http://www.apa.org.
Child Development Institute (CDI). 3528 E Ridgeway Road, Orange, California 92867. (714) 998-8617. Web site: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com.

CDI. Child Development Basics. Available online at: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development (accessed March 5, 2005).
Great Ideas in Personality. Available online at: http://www.personalityresearch.org/ (accessed March 5, 2005).
The Personality Project. Available online at: http://www.personality-project.org/personality.html (accessed March 5, 2005).
Monique Laberge, Ph.D.
Read more: http://www.healthofchildren.com/P/Personality-Development.html#ixzz4EA0k2tml

Personality Development

Personality Development quintessentially means enhancing and grooming one’s outer and inner self to bring about a positive change to your life. Each individual has a distinct persona that can be developed, polished and refined. This process includes boosting one’s confidence, improving communication and language speaking abilities, widening ones scope of knowledge, developing certain hobbies or skills, learning fine etiquettes and manners, adding style and grace to the way one looks, talks and walks and overall imbibing oneself with positivity, liveliness and peace.

The whole process of this development takes place over a period of time. Even though there are many crash courses in personality development that are made available to people of all age groups, implementing this to your routine and bringing about a positive change in oneself takes a considerable amount of time. It is not necessary to join a personality development course; one can take a few tips and develop his or her own aura or charm.

You may have heard this a million times “Think Positive”. It works.
Smile. And smile some more. It adds to your face value and to your personality as well.
Read a few articles in the newspaper loudly. This will help in communicating fluently.
Follow table manners and dining etiquettes
Take good care of your health, dress well, be neat and organized
Prepare a chart that mentions your strengths and weaknesses. Now concentrate on the latter and find ways to improve upon the same. Do not forget to strengthen your strengths.
Spend some time alone concentrating on you and yourself alone.
Practice meditation and yoga. It will help you develop inner peace and harmony that will reflect outside.
Do not live a monotonous life. Be creative and do something new all the time. Nothing bigger than the joy of creative satisfaction.

Personality development is gaining more and more importance because it enables people to create a good impression about themselves on others; it helps them to build and develop relationships, helps in your career growth and also helps to improve your financial needs.

After all, personality development is nothing but a tool that helps you realize your capabilities and your strengths making you a stronger, a happier and a cheerful person.

10 Ways to Improve Your Personality
By Z. Hereford

Contrary to what you may think, you can improve your personality! Until quite recently it was believed that personality is permanent.

In 1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was “set in plaster” by early adulthood.

This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.

What is Personality?

The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.

When we say that someone has a “good personality” we mean that they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with.

Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital – probably even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.

While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.

Here are someways we can accomplish this:

Be a better listener. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you’re the only person in the world.

Read more and expand your interests.The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.

Be a good conversationalist. This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it’s refreshing to learn from others those things we don’t have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know. Enjoy the article: The Art of Conversation

Have an Opinion.There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you’re a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone’s perspective.

Meet New People. Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.

Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you’re not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.

Have a positive outlook and attitude. Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

Be humorfun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation – there always is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.

Be supportive of others. Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when we’re down.

Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person’s personality more than integrity and respect – respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.

We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the happiness of others.

Personality Development

Discover the hidden aspects of your personality, accelerate success & popularity

“In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinity of time to come, there will be no one like you. You are original. You are rare. You are unique. Celebrate your uniqueness.”

  • Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Re – discover Your Fascinating Presence

Have you observed when a child enters a room everyone in the room just gets attracted by the child’s mere presence? The child doesn’t have to make any effort. It all happens naturally. We communicate more by our presence than by our words. But, as we grow up, somehow we miss taking care of this sublime aspect of our lives. Our presence weakens as innumerable impressions of our past experiences accumulate and clog our mind.

How do we restore that child-like freshness, friendliness and naturalness in our lives? This is possible through simple yet powerful breathing techniques like Sudarshan Kriya. The techniques help cleanse different layers of our existence, right from our body to the subtle layers of our self from stress and past experiences restoring our charm and presence.

How Soon Do You Want Success?

Everyone wants to be successful in life. But, is success just having a big bank balance and a luxurious living? One may have a big bank balance; but, if the body gets sick, one cannot enjoy what one has. Many times, people spend half their health to gain wealth and spend half their wealth to gain back the health. Is this really success?

Imagine a state when your problems stop being problems, you get the strength to willingly face them with a smile and turn them into opportunities. Don’t you think this is a sign of a successful person? This is what the Art of Living techniques can get you to.

The earlier you explore yourself with yoga, pranayam and meditation, the faster you get to accelerate success in all aspects of your life.

Get An Unshakable Personality From Within

Knowledge & self-help books are easily available everywhere – but what books cannot transmit is the personal charisma, the presence, the friendly and warm atmosphere a person carries along with him/her. The ancient practices of pranayam and meditation taught in the Art of Living programs enhance this charisma by uplifting the spirit, intuition, creativity, enthusiasm, intelligence and strengthens your personality.

You get the confidence and the ability to achieve whatever you want in life with an unshakable smile. This also makes an impact on people around you to look up to you as an inspiration.

Top 10 Personality Development Tips

Personality of a person is defined as the amalgamation of qualities and attributes which contribute to the person’s character and image. It arises from within and makes us who we are. The personality of an individual is determined and judged by his/her appearance, behaviour, attitude, education, values and some more varying characteristics.

Personality development is the process of developing a set of characteristics and traits which contribute to the overall personality of a person. Personality development is often confused with enhancing your dressing sense or just gaining proficiency over English language. A person who dresses well and speaks fluent English isn’t necessarily supposed to have a good personality. Personality development is an all round development.

Tips for Personality Development

Personality development cannot happen in a day. It happens over time. There are multiple characteristics which need to be worked on while developing one’s personality.Here are some tips for enhancing the typical characteristics and attributes which add to an individual’s overall personality:

1. Be Confident:

Confidence is certainly the most important factor which adds to the personality of any individual. A person’s confidence might go down due to mistakes, failure, guilty or any other thing which is undesirable. Some people often develop inferiority complex due to their physical appearance, caste, financial status etc. Such people perceive confidence as their weakness, while the truth is that confidence is an individual’s biggest strength.

Your confidence reflects your character, attitude and passion. You should be confident about who you are and whatever you do. Being confident will help you to express yourself and stand amongst the crowd.

2. Improve Your Communication Skills:

The way you speak reflects who you are. Be polite and gentle with your words. Use decent words while interacting with everyone. Always think before you speak. English being globally accepted is preferred everywhere. So work on your English proficiency by listening to English news, reading English newspapers and magazines. Always use simple words general interactions.

3. Dress Up Well:

Dressing sense means the general sense about how you should dress up for office, party or any other occasion. A person should therefore wear according to the situation and according to how well the attire suits him/her. Good looks no doubt will add to your personality but what matters the most is how you are dressed up. Even a 5’4 guy with a dark complexion can have a good personality if he knows how to carry himself. Dressing sense thus plays a major role in personality and confidence development.

4. Do What You’re Passionate About and Be Passionate About What You Do:

Always follow your passion and do what interests you. This will not only help you to grow as a person but will also add to your confidence. Be passionate about your work. Make sure that you give your best in whatever you do. This will add to your growth and strengthen your self confidence. NEVER miss a chance to prove yourself.

5. Watch Your Body Language:

Body language plays an important role to judge a person’s confidence and personality. Try to make use of positive gestures while interacting with others. This shows that you’re at ease while having a discussion. Studies reflect that 75% of our communication happens non-verbally. Your gestures thus play a vital role while interacting with others.

6. Improve Your Social Skills:

Man is a social animal. Every individual has to interact with a group of people one time or the other. Being shy or introvert is the least desirable characteristics in any individual. Always stay updated with the current affairs and what is happening in your society. Try participating in group discussions and seminars. This will help you to be more open and adjust amongst a group of individuals.

7. Develop Leadership Qualities:

A good leader is believed to have a good personality. Leadership skills do not mean how well you give orders to your subordinates. It means how well you can manage your subordinates to accomplish a particular task. Work harder to set an example to your subordinates. Express yourself and always do as you say.

8. Be Optimistic:

Have a positive outlook towards everything. Nobody wants to be around a person who is negative and complaining all the time. Nobody wants to work or live with a pessimist. When you face a failure, let go of the assumption that you’re the unluckiest person alive. Use positive statements like “I can do it”, “I always have a choice” etc. Expect good things from the future.

9. Be a Patient Listener:

Be an enthusiastic listener. Listening is a very essential part of communication. This will help you to see things from the eyes of others. Mental presence is a must to be good listener. Try to get away from any possible distraction while talking to your family members, friends and co-workers. Ask questions to let the other person know that you were listening to him/her.

10. Be a Good Learner:

Good learning skills in an individual are highly desirable. You should always have the zeal to learn new things while at work. This reflects your enthusiasm. Don’t let yourself repeat the same mistakes. Learn from them.

Here’s a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself”

Everyone makes mistakes, but learning from them is the best one can do. Working on the above mentioned characteristics will help you to be entitled as a person with a good personality.